– Rich people who complain about how hard their life is. Your life is hard? Are you fucking insane? I swear if I hear another up tight wealthy middle aged motherfucker complain about “I pay so much tax” I’m gonna scream. Of course you pay a lot of tax; you’re rich. Even if you pay 50 % tax (which you don’t) you’d have more than enough to live comfortably. But ooooh now you can’t buy yourself another BMW now because of the taxman. Go fuck yourself and stop being so greedy.

– People asking me whether I’m not cold when I wear shorts in the winter. First off it’s 12 degrees Celsius out; it’s not Antarctica. Secondly if I was cold I’d wear warm clothing. LEAVE ME ALONE.

– Assholes who make as if Shakespeare/ “Classic” literature are super relevant to our own modern times. Shakespeare is silly. I have nothing to add to it. There is nothing else I can say. I’m not denying that Shakespeare and books like Jane Eyre form an important part of the English language’s history but it’s literature from a bygone era that in no way mirrors contemporary society. It’s an artifact and deserves as the same respect as a spinning Jenny but that is all it deserves. Get over it and stop being pretentious.

– T-Pain (and others of the same ilk) is not a musician and anyone that says differently is an idiot. The man can’t sing, he can’t play an instrument. He fulfills none of the criteria for one to be called a musician. What he is is a panderer. He plays up to morons and fair enough we all gotta make a living but making as if he’s an artist is completely off base.

– When the hot water runs out while I’m still busy showering. Every time this happens I die a little on the inside.

– Guys who wear caps in the gym. I just want to run up to them and scream “DO YOU FUCKING REALIZE THAT YOU ARE INDOORS?”. Take off your backward Ed Hardy cap because you look like a monumental, awe inspiring, astronomic, colossal, vast, whopping douche. Do you grasp this? Do you know that I hate you? So many questions but so few answers.

– Unnecessarily bombastic behaviour. Those of you that have been at university know the crowd I’m talking about. They are the people who sit a crowd in the lecture hall before the lesson starts and talk REALLY LOUDLY about how big social butterflies they all are and how their rich daddy is going to, like, buy them a new car. Fake laughs are the order of the day here along with constantly being your Blackberry. Curse you.