Be modest. The temptation is certainly there not to be; to smash your chest like the king of the chimpanzee’s. Instead greet your own success with humility. Sure, you done good. Be proud but remember that nothing ever lasts. The good only stays good for so long and that fall from grace is gonna seem so much further if you spent your little period on the tippity top shouting about how big your dick is.

You should smile more. It doesn’t cost a cent and but it is priceless. A warm, sincere and greeting smile will you help you meet some great people and will help people meet you. Bare those carnivores and show people you are not the grouchy ass hole they think you are.

Don’t stick a price tag on everything. Help those who can never repay you. Do your best to be kind although it sure as hell can be difficult sometimes. You must realise that in the end we’re all in this together and that you are not, in fact, the unluckiest person on Earth. Unlucky is the levees bursting and the waters of the Mississippi destroying your house/neighborhood/city/livelihood. Unlucky is watching your family starve and knowing there is nothing you can do about it. You are not unlucky damn it.

Eat all the drinks and foods you convinced yourself you didn’t like when you were younger. Mushrooms are delicious. As are spinach, peanut butter, peppers, Coke Zero, salad, tomatoes. You were wrong. W-R-O-N-G. Now go be a man about it and admit to your mistakes.

Whilst we are on the topic of admitting to your mistakes, you should admit to your mistakes. Stop arguing when you realise you’re wrong. There is nothing wrong with a bit of Mea Culpa and there is nothing worse than that guy at the party who thinks he is never fucking wrong.

Ask questions. People love talking about themselves and you can learn a ton of interesting shit. Don’t be afraid to appear ignorant of a topic; like my old man always says “asking questions is the true sign of intelligence”.

Learn to windsurf. It looks bodacious. Bodacious is a good word; use it more often.