I am so very lonely.

May 5th, 2000:
This is what I’ve come too; playing a lowdown hillbilly that indiscriminately fake assaults people on television. I so badly want to talk to the crowd about the theme of capital punishment in Dostoevsky’s “The Idiot” but I can’t. Instead of actually adding something to American society I’m reduced to silly catch phrases and beer. Beer! My god I hate beer! I would just do anything for an appletini. Why do I constantly have to wear jean shorts? Who still fucking wears jean shorts? I bought this lovely pair of shorts from Abercrombie & Fitch the other day and as I went to walk out to the ring in them Vince McMahon stopped me. He ordered me to wear jean shorts. I can’t work under these conditions.

What has become of me?

May 12th, 2000:
I have reached my lowest point, I had to attack a woman in the ring. It doesn’t matter that it wasn’t real but what kind of example am I setting? One of violence towards women and rampant alcoholism that’s what. Afterwards they had me swim in beer. Literally do the front crawl through alcohol in front of the cheering masses. I’m like the red neck version of the elephant man; nothing but a sideshow freak to laugh at.

May 15th, 2000:
The character of Stone Cold is a personal hell from which I cannot escape. Try to go to pilates? Nope, there’ll be some jackass at the gym shouting “AUSTIN 3:16!” at me. Want to take Princess for a walk at the local dog park? Huh-uh I’ll be met by some imbecile asking me why I’m not wearing jean shorts. I curse the day denim was invented.


May 22nd, 2000:
Just rewatched Titanic, it is truly one of the most magical films of our generation. I just cried and cried; it gets me every time. Gonna watch Aladdin next! Truly an evening filled with wonder and delight.