I am literally incapable of small talk. It is an art form that is completely lost on a die hard introvert such as my self. What do you say? What is acceptable to talk about? WHAT DOES THIS PERSON WANT FROM ME? I love talking, I really do but then it must be of some kind of consequence. Not earth shattering consequence, but for me, a conversation needs a bottom line. If you have something interesting or enlightening to say then lay it on me by all means.

Small talk with me usually (Note: I say usually because there have been people who have successfully cracked my shell) runs this route:

  1. The person engages me. Usually about something arbitrary like how it’s cold outside.
  2. I give a nod and a smile. This is usually accompanied by a verbal response of “Yeah.” or “Is it?”.
  3. The conversation runs out of steam.

That’s how it goes. I probably sound like a prick, a pompous one at that, but it’s a double standard that only applies to introverted people. When someone is very full on in how they deal with you you’re not allowed to call them bold or disrespectful, they’re just extroverted. If you’re shy and find it difficult to talk to strangers then you’re rude. It pisses me off that people only account for peoples personality in certain circumstances but it goes out the window if you are slightly diffident. It’s the curse of the introvert that people seem to feel that you’re cold shouldering them. It’s really fucking annoying. I’m actually a nice guy, I promise. I don’t hate you, I don’t think your ugly, I’ve never said a bad word about you. What they don’t know is that if I don’t like someone I don’t talk to them at all. When I say at all, I mean AT ALL.

I think my aversion to small talk is rooted in my inclination to disregard any interaction with another person that I feel can’t develop into a meaningful relationship or at least an experience that is in someway beneficial . For example, the 40 year old housewife in the queue at  the vehicle licence centre who tried to converse with me. Her attempts to engage in small talk was an attempt to satisfy her need to not feel alone.  I don’t have that compulsion. I’ll barely speak with anyone all day long and be absolutely fine about it as long as I can stay in touch with the people I care for.

All this could probably be seen as a fault. I won’t ever have 1000 friends on Facebook, I won’t ever have a girl in every port. What I also won’t ever have, however, is a bunch of fair weather friends and a sea of useless acquaintances. I’d rather have one good friend then fifty people I sorta know.

I care about people a whole bunch, whether I know them or not. Even the ones I dislike. Everybody has a right to be happy and if engaging in countless casual exchanges with strangers fulfills you then that’s you being you.

If anyone’s looking for me, I’m that guy giving the sheepish smile and avoiding eye contact with strangers.